Tuesday, December 7, 2010 Pop goes my brain!
Posted by Deimi Brigitte at 8:52 PM
Hola! Oh it's sad how I can't be consistent in blogging anymore. But I guess Twitter is something like that, just in small bits and pieces. I'm just as sure that no one reads my blog either, cos they all know it's DEAD. But I come back anyway, I only tell people who I want them to read my blog. Why the sudden urge to blog? Sheer boredom!

Sooo, it's December, my holiday mood is boiling up! November has been a crazy one, honestly. I went out every single day, out in the day and back by night. I admit, that made my mom go crazy, but I just wanna have a blast this time. It's not like I've been out doing baaad things. Prom was only damn fun at the end where the song started to play, and my usual high self went up on stage with my small group of friends to dance, then gradually, people started coming up as well. The onyl thing I was upset about was how it felt like forever waiting for Prom, and when that day came... It just swept by.

I didn't even have time to grasp every special moment with my friends. I only got to do it when I got to settle down and have time to think and reminisce. One more thing was, I was leaving a day after that to the Philippines. The next time that I might see them is next year. But like I always say, I don't know what 2011 holds for all of us. It scares me.

I'm that one person that is scared of the new year. Instead of being excited, I'm always scared what will happen then. But I'll have to face it either way. It's like a fear that I'll have to overcome yearly, it's exhausting.

Lately, I've been very nostalgic. When I'm chatting with someone, I'll end up bringing up the past because I think, this year has been very, very meaningful. With new friends that we used to so-called "hate", and the fact that this may be our last year in high school, now to a new environment in poly/ITE. You start to cherish the littlest things now that you know you may not come back. It's harder for people like me who can't let go of pasts, it's true, I can't. But the past, i meant the good memories. The bad ones I can slowly let go.

So now I'm in the Philippines right. Usually the week of my flight, I'll already get freaking excited to go home and have fun with my relatives finally. This year, it was different. I had the most confusing feelings about going back. I was happy, I was sad, devasted, ecstatic. The opposites together.

Then I knew why, I was happy before cos I had nothing to look back in Singapore yet, except my three awesome girls. This year, I had a lot to turn away before going to the Philippines. It was hard. I know, I'm coming back. But I will, only next year. I've already previously talked about my fear of new years. I think of all kinds of stuff like, maybe we won't be in contact anymore? People change? I change? It would be a terrible year for me? And since I'm still schooling, where would my education bring me?

Now I got more great friends worth keeping, and great memories worth reminiscing. It was harder to move to another new year cos we know we can never go back and repeat it all over again.

Now it's still the holidays, I wanna cherish it sooo bad because I won't get long holidays like this anymore when I get to poly/ITE. I've been longing for this holiday when I was in school, now that I got it, I wish it got slower. That's the usual.

2010 has definitely been a great year, the best one I've had yet. Fair share of sad and happy moments. And I know, and hope there would be more of great years to come. I'm sorry my post didn't even have at least a tiny twist of humour, but I just had to let things out. I've been clogging up my thoughts for too long. I had a lot of times this year where I was left to just think of things.

Have a happy holiday ahead of you.