Wednesday, July 28, 2010 time is catching up.
Posted by Deimi Brigitte at 9:59 PM
My urge to blog suddenly came running back to me. I'd do this on Tumblr, but there's too many people there. I prefer to blog somewhere I know that is barely visited anymore, like voila, this old thing. I'm pretty sure everyone thinks my era of blogging is over. But I'm the type that just does it whenever I can or feel like it. No matter how random.

Time flies so quickly, every year. It's already more than half the year gone and it's not a good sign since I'm the Graduating batch, well sort of, I'm NA so going to Secondary 5 is key. Unless you want a one way ticket to ITE, 'cos you want to or you've lost hope. So you think my motivation to study must've been bubbling, in a cauldron? Not at all. It's been very still. I can't seem to motivate myself. Even in such a conducive environment, all the books right infront of me, na-da. I've been trying my best, like going for study groups.

It's an on and off thing. We'll get cracking, then after a while, we've lost focus and start messing around. I'll go home guilty, not confident. Luckily, today was alittle productive. I've managed to do my notes on Nutrients.

Don't get me wrong, I am TERRIFIED TO THE BONES that the biggest milestone of my life (for now) is coming up and I'm not doing anything about it. I've really got to do more notes, for all my subjects then try doing my TYS. My cauldron has to start bubbling, somehow... it has to. Like seriously.

Anyways, my sleeping routine has vastly changed after the June Holidays. I'd used to sleep exactly at 10pm and be in tip-top shape for school. Though, I'm pretty sure it doesn't make any difference. I still end up sleeping in class. Nowadays, I hit the way like around 12 - 3am ish? And that's on school nights. Just imagine, weekends. Sister has been noticing too, I use in my brother's room to hide away from my folks. I'll sneak back to my room afterwards, waking my sister when the bed sinks as I try to tuck in. She'll ask me what I'm up to, why I've been staying up so late.

I reply in silence or say I was watching the television. This makes me yearn for my own room. Gives me more privacy. I never get any here at home, that's why I don't really like going home. No~ I don't hate my family. Okay, maybe just one of them but that's besides the point. I just feel watched all the time at home. I need a break, sometimes I just wish I could earthbend walls around me to get away from it all. I just really wish for my own room, but nobody can get what they want... "Ask and you will receive."

I ask everyday.